


Say Something

by SabArtFan



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Agressive Disputes, Break Up, Heavy Angst, M/M, Might add another chapter?, Overprotective Derek, Stiles Leaves Beacon Hills, bring your tissues, so much tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:34:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5158862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabArtFan/pseuds/SabArtFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- “That’s it?" </p>
<p>The words resonate in the confined space between them. The spacious loft usually echoing everything feeling somewhat intimidated by the explosion of emotions contained within its walls. Stiles’ voice waver and breaks as he ask again, his voice rising up in disbelief. </p>
<p>----</p>
<p>Inspired by Say Something, A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something

\- “That’s it?" 

The words resonate in the confined space between them. The spacious loft usually echoing everything feeling somewhat intimidated by the explosion of emotions contained within its walls. Stiles’ voice waver and breaks as he ask again, his voice rising up in disbelief. 

\- "THAT’S IT? THAT’S ALL YOU’VE GOT TO SAY? HOW DARE YOU…,” he chokes, his eyes misting, witnessing the hateful expression he’d tried for so many years to erase from the eyes of his wonderful lover. This broken and glorious person that touched him more than anyone before, a person that he’d learned to trust with his life… who’d just said words he thought he would never hear from him, not anymore, not after all these years. This fucking guilt trip he’d wanted to kill and strangle for so long would be the death of him. Derek look at him with the same self-loathing slash guilt he used to wear for so many years. He’d been so sure they were passed that. He wants to scream, to yell, to break everything but he know… if there’s one thing he knows about his sourwolf is that his determination to punish himself know no bounds. He open his mouth to speak, try so much to plead and beg but his voice get swallowed under the misery, the pain and the betrayal.

\- “Derek… Derek, please… don’t do that. Not again.” The sobs strangle him, his arms so often in motion like dead weight on his sides. He knew what was embarrassment although he flattered himself at having some dignity, knowing his self value but right now… he wants to crawl, to rip off his heart and offer it, anything to convince this beautiful man how this is not something he’ll survive, that right now, he’s killing him more surely than any werewolves, supernatural creatures or crazy hunter ever did. He feels a surge of anger at Derek’s immobility, his cold hard glare mixed with the deep pain Stiles’ learned to see as the time passed.

\- “When will you understand that you’ll never save me!!! I don’t want to be save you moron… I just… want… to be with you… I’ll follow you anywhere… I’m here because I choose to… stop… just stop… STOP LOOKIN AT ME LIKE THAT! IT’S NOT YOUR FUCKING FAULT!”

Derek stays as motionless as a statue and Stiles just cracks, because he knows it’s over. He can’t fight against this wall of a man he loves so much.

\- “Say something!! Derek… I love you… just don’t… don’t do that… SAY SOMETHING DAMNIT!!”

Derek looks at him with the saddest, most heartbreaking smile he ever saw on his precious face; harsher than when they wished farewell to his family on the last remains of the Hale house, more broken than when he’d felt the life leak out of Boyd under his claws, more ripped and bleeding than ever in all his long agonizing life. His voice is almost dead when he say those last words but they carry a finality that leaves no space for Stile to have any hope.

\- “I love you… more than I ever loved anyone. But I can’t. I just… can’t.”

Derek straightens up and cross his arms, as if going to war, a movement Stiles saw a millions times but never thought would be addressed to him with such guarded ferocity. The few words that spill afterwards are expected but even with the softness and small tone of Derek’s remaining voice, they still rip Stiles apart and explode into him as a million broken pieces without any chance of repair.

\- “It’s over.”

Under the silent explosion, Stiles is motionless… unable to contain the massacre. He feels his limbs disconnected, his breath shallow and his mind blank… Nothing else is right anymore, everything’s up and down and sideways, he’s lost his sense of orientation… his anchor.

So much for not being bitten, he’s became more of a wolf than he could have been if he did… and he’s lost. He doesn’t know how it happens but his movements are desperate, searching for his lifeline as an agonizing animal, spurring him in motion, holding onto Derek and forcing his lips in a crushing nightmare on the hard cold thin line of his own wolf’s lips, body; his alpha, in his soul if not in reality.

He feels a brief moment of relief at feeling the familiar touch, the softness, the comfort of this mouth, of the bear, of the enticing woodsy smell but he’s pushed away, broken, destroyed to less than dust under his feet by the harsh rebuttal.

His fall echoes sickeningly on the floor, breaking the illusion, everything he thought he was, he had… To lay dead and empty, staring at everything he’d wished and wanted, staring up to the refusal, the rejection he thought he would never let happen, would never come, the one he once thought he wouldn’t want or bother to have… To then realize he never thought he could live it down. To now know he can’t handle it… won’t survive. 

Derek leaves him sprawled on the floor, surrounded by the empty walls, now echoing the harshness of this breath, the resounding pain of his emptiness, the enormity of the silence entering his soul, his everything. The shadows crawl back into the loft, as if Derek had never been there, as if his whole life had vanished from existence, as if nothing had ever mattered… The pain, the fear, the place he’d found for himself, the sufferings from the Nogistune, the comfort he’d found in the mesh of their broken souls, this fusion that had saved him more than anything else… More than the decaying friendship he sort of shared with Scott, more than the undefinable faithfulness he felt toward his father, more than the savage protectiveness he felt for his friends… 

Derek had made him feel whole, contain, together, part of something bigger, brighter… He’d made him feel like things would get better, would always be fine if only they stayed holding each other’s wounds, a wonderful strength in despair.

The abysmal loss he’s feeling is unthinkable, unimaginable… he just… can’t.

 

* * *

 

The streets pass in a blur. The luggages by his side a meager witness of his life, his faithful Jeep driving him to an unknown location. His emptiness, his newfound companion, unbeatable, unconceivable, eating him whole. He feels like a cadaver…

The road seem to understand this infinity of pain he just can’t seem to let go of, as at the same time he want to… it reminds him of green, swirls of color, fur, crooked smile and huff… unbearable memories. His eyes are blurry and he swallows the pain, burden it, taste it and savor it…

He doesn’t know where to go, doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t care…

He just… leaves everything behind.

 


End file.
